Thunder's first post: A Mod's guide to forums (Part 1)

RIGHT, I know I've been here a while without posting, but I wanted something reeeeeeally good to start off. And it's Paddy's day, and I'm Irish.

So. I'm a member on DQ, which Silence has thoughtfully linked up near the top of his page (Go there before I eat you). And I'm usually at war with the mods, SPP in particular.

It's not like I TRY to get myself in trouble, it just spontaneously happens. So, I decided it would be incredibly witty to write a 'Mod's guide to forums'. In more detail, I'm going to ask a question, then give you what the mod is thinking, what they SHOULD say, and what they actually say.

I know, psychic aren't I?

I'll also add comments under all that.

A Mod's guide to forums, by Thunderaven


Q. Hi, I'm new, what do I have to do to fit in here?

Thoughts: Oh god, MORE new members?

What SHOULD be said: Hi, welcome to the forums, obey the rules and you'll do OK!

What was ACTUALLY said: *insert a sarcastic/nice answer, which took half an hour to make up*


Mods are terrible for this, as everyone thinks they're smart if they post something degrading and sarcastic. However, They're nice to new members, as they can come bawling to the mod later with 'WAAAH, HE CALLED ME A NOOOOB!'


Q. Hey, I've been around a while, I think I'm mature, can I be a mod?

Thoughts: NO, FUCK OFF AND DIE! Wait, are you questioning my authority? YOU THINK I'M NOT FUCKING GOOD ENOUGH?!

What SHOULD be said: No, moderator positions are offered to members who have shown maturity and have helped out around the forums since they joined, please don't ask us to become one.

What was ACTUALLY said: *The above, only not half as considerate*


The problem with mods is you choose three or four, and for a while, they're good. They show maturity, only reprimand when deserved, and generally are a laugh to have around.

Then they enter what I like to call, their 'Modly Dark side'. They become obsessed with the power they have over all other members, but they're smart enough to not get their privilages stripped by the admins. And that's a lethal combination people.

The point I'm trying to make up there is that they become so paranoid, that a new member with ten posts asking a half serious question puts them IMMEDIATLY on guard. Not only do they CARE, they fire the equivilant of a nuclear bomb in the direction of whoever asked the question.


Q. *Member hasn't read the rules properly and did something against them* Hey, I have infraction points! What the hell are they for?

Thoughts: See, THIS is why we can't have nice things! You dumb fucks never read the rules!

What SHOULD be said: You have recieved this infraction for *whatever reason*. You should learn from this to avoid making the same mistake.

What is ACTUALLY said: FEAR MY WRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATH!


No, not really. But I can sympathise with the mods here. TIME and TIME again, someone inconsideratly double posts, and AGAIN and AGAIN they have to be infracted. Then the come moaning to the mod in question.

Then the cycle repeats with a different member.

I've seen it happen, it's happened to me. For once, the mod has a RIGHT to throw their weight around.

Not much of a reason though.



I'll continue this whenever I get the chance, as I'm half asleep while writing this.

Talk cha next time!